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February 2010
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April 2010

Consulting Emily

I promised myself I would not be like one of them... you know those brides that they make TV shows out of?  Those shows that showcase the crazy brides, the ones who chew their gum in public, yell at their mothers, pull hair, trash talk, and well, I am cringing just thinking about the rest of it.  I really and truly promised myself, and other, that would not sink that low.  I went to school in the South, I pledged Kappa Kappa Gamma, I know better than to behave like that.  But sometimes there are instances when there is nothing else to do but scream, yell, and vent.  You might do it alone, by yourself, so that no one know that it actually happened, but you know.  You know what happened.

It all started with the list - the wedding guest list.  This is like the Magna Carta of any wedding.  And as far as I am concerned, this list is the key to the wedding - any wedding in fact.  Everything else will fall into place.  We spent hours getting the perfect list knowing full well that someone somewhere would not be happy.  In life, there is always someone somewhere who is not happy, and there is very little that can be done about those people.  I have spent too much time worrying about and trying to fix those people and for these next months, and years in fact, I am not doing it anymore!

I have been told countless times by friends, colleagues, and strangers to do what I want on my wedding - it is my day.  Perhaps I am taking the advice a little too literally, but I am going for it, and this list is no exception.  We agreed to a simple idea when compiling the list.  Under no circumstances would we say "It is so nice to meet you" on this important day.  We want to make sure that we are surrounded by the most important people in our lives.  It is probably the only time that we are both alive that we will be able to experience this - and so there is no reason that we should not be able to have it our way.  Dramatic?  Perhaps.  But why not?  I have waited a long time for this day, and feel fully entitled to have who I want there on that day. 

So imagine my surprise when I received a call..."Hi. Can M bring her boyfriend to your wedding?"  I am sorry... what?  Did M's save the date card list anyone else's name besides their own? NO.  If M has a question, why would M not ask me?  And further more, ummm...NO.  I quickly opened up my computer and did a search for "Emily Post Wedding Etiquette".  "Do not ask your host or hostess if you can bring a date or your children. " I needed to be thoroughly reassured on my decision making.  Emily backed me up 100%.  Now - for full disclosure... I did ask 1 time if I could bring a guest to a wedding, so I stand guilty as charged.  I broke proper etiquette.  However, before and after that momentary lapse of insanity I accepted all invitations as they came to me: as they were addressed.  Some came with my name and the words & guest... and others just had my name.  In recent years the invitations have come to both me and my current fiance.  I find things much easier if I consult Emily in advance... Now let's see who actually RSVPs!Tallow response
(Image courtesy of Tallow Design Studio)